Germans and Americans Talk: Part 3, Chapter 6 Angela Bohne in English.
Please post here concerning the second interview.
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Every time my friends went out to a club we went just to have fun. we didn’t dress up and we all went as a group. me and my girlfriend hang out with friends even if one of us can’t. we are not connected at the hip. yes we see each other alot, but most of those time we are with friends and we both like to talk to different people. we don’t have to be next to each other all night.
I hate going to a sports bar with my friends. I go there to watch the game with my girlfriends and have a beer or two. Every time I go some goofy jerk always hits on one of us. All my girlfriends are all married and I am not interested in some guy with a dark circle around his ring finger where his wedding band was an hour prior to. I loved Germany because we could all go out and have a good time without some drunk hitting on us and then verbally assaulting us when we didn’t take the bait.
Both of these ladies need to learn that American do go out together but we are all not attached at the hip! I know most girls like to look nice when they go out, not because of the date you might get but because it make you feel good to get dress up! (Guys don’t lie you do to.) She has a point that Americans do have other motives sometimes when they go out, but I feel like Germans to do, it is human nature. I do believe that Americans get jealous much more than Germans which is bad, but it happens. Maybe I should go live in Germany and find a guy who doesn’t get jealous and lets me hang out with friends.
The two interviews seem to be done a long time ago. I always go out on friends’ night out in a group, and most of the time me and my friends would invite our boyfriends/ girlfriends to come along. I remember when my friend invited me to a New Year party, everyone brought their other half along and we all had a good time getting to know each other.
I dont think jealousy is reserved exclusively for Americans. My best friend, whose boyfriend is German, seems really possessive to me. When we went out together, her German boyfriend wouldn’t stop expressing his affections to my friend and kissing her in front of us. Whenever I wanna go out with my best friend, her boyfriend would wanna come along. It seems to me that he isn’t gonna let her do her own things and be with her friends when he’s around.
I hope the night bars are the same in Germany as these two ladies described. If so, people can just go with a group of friends and have a good time without getting some annoying stranger ruin the mood. But my best friend who went to Germany two years ago told me there were some creeps at bars or clubs to pick up someone, wow in Germany ,too!So may be things have changed, and people from different cultures aren’t all that different after all.
I find this group mentality fascinating, as we are so individualistic in the U.S. Yet it would provide a more intense friendship and safety when out with friends. I would what the numbers of random sex with strangers is compared to America. I also wonder what effect this has on marriages and if people stay in these cliques after marriage and kids. I do like that there is more trust, and a deeper relationship with friends. And that you can go out and not be tied to just one person, as when you are younger and spend all this time with one person, then break up, you missed the good relationships with your friends.
When I go out with my friends we just go to have fun, we’re not always trying to catch some guys eye we just want to go out. And I don’t always wear makeup everywhere I go but I do try to look nice when I go to my job and out with my boyfriend. Admit it girls sometimes a little eyeliner just makes you feel pretty and there’s nothing wrong with that. I like to go out in groups to because let’s face it after you’ve been with your boyfriend for 20 hours a day you want to talk to someone else. I don’t think my friendships suffered after I got a boyfriend either, you just have to have a healthy balance.
I prefer going out in a group setting. It never really happens to pick up girls though, that is not really the point of going out to me. If I had a girl with me, I don’t see the need to be clingy like the article was describing.
I almost feel bad about admitting it, but if either Mandy or myself decide we don’t want to go out with friends that night,the other just says ’screw him, let’s go’ and they make fun of me all night. Mandy and I go on dates together, but we do things with friends far more frequently; we were always part of a group dynamic, and its worked out for us so far.
I’m more of a group of friends kind of guy but I always love going out with a single friend a bunch. But I’ve always been annoyed when my girlfriends have been jealous if I’m hanging out with my friends. Boy do I have stories. But I pretty much agree with what she’s saying.
Again, I don’t know if Caleb and I are weird or something, but we NEVER hang out just us. We are always with friends.
And we are married.
I realize that this is not a characteristic that applies to everyone, but I only have one set of friends that completely ignored everyone else for a while. Also, I don’t understand why dressing up is automatically synonymous with being shallow and/or potential mate hunting. I like dressing up because I like to look nice. I think it’s important to take pride in your appearance.
But, again, I enjoy the different perspective. It is interesting!
I would have to agree with the lady. I tend to see that if two people are dating, that if there significant other doesn’t come along then the other person, most of the time, won’t go. It does seem, to me, that you have to be doing things with one another or be by yourself.
While visiting Germany over this lat winter break i was drinking with some friends in a pub and i had this German man come up to me and start speaking to me in German. I told him i speak English and I understand very little German. He continued to talk to me and I picked up his age and a few other things. He wasn’t ugly or anything but he was signicantly older than me and i wasn’t very interested. So he follows me around and keeos putting his hand on my back. He takes my camera and starts taking pictures of us and all of a sudden as im smiling for the camera he turns his head and shoves his tongue down my throat! I guess the shocked expression on my face was enough to say how i felt about it because the bartender, who is friends with most of my friends, saw this and started screaming at this guy in German and all of a sudden the bouncer appears grabs him by the arm and pulls him out of the pub. I just stood there for a sec before everything really absorbed. Now i think it’s hilarious! The guy had this hurt puppy look on his face on the way out of there.
Guess the moral of the story is there are pervy old men in every country. hahaha
I can’t say that the ‘don’t hang out in groups’ thing is consistently true. Growing up, especially in high school, my friends and I tended to hang out in groups. The more, the merrier, right? And I know plenty of people who are dating but will still hang out in a group with other people. Although it occurs to me that these people are architecture students and for them ‘hanging out’ means ‘working in the studio for three days straight’, so maybe I’m not the best source of information here.
(Again, sorry this is late!)
Again, I don’t have much experience in the subject, but I see both points of the story. A lot of couples here in the Untied States want to be joined at the hip, and I think a lot of it comes from the social atmosphere that we are surrounded by. We are told to date a certain way, to act and behave in a certain way, and to live life in a certain way. Of course, this is not exclusive to the American market, as I’m sure the German market caters to the youth “cliques.”
Again with the jealousy thing. It seems to me that the more casual approach to going out witha group of friends is more conducive to a less jealous environment. I have to say though that I haven’t really noticed this thing where if one member of the couple doesn’t want to go the other won’t either. In my group of friends, if we went as a group, boyfriends/girlfriends sometimes came and sometimes didn’t, it didn’t seem like a big deal. I’m thinking that it all comes down to the attitudes of the people you’re hanging out with.
I agree with some of what they said. It does seem that alot of people go to clubs or bars to meet people. I have learned that this is not for me. I just don’t like the atmosphere most of the time. It does feel more like people are their to hunt for other people instead of having fun with who they came with. But, Im sure alot of it depends on who you go with and where you go.
I think that the mentality behind going out clubbing makes all the difference. I know my girlfriend and I had more than one argument about clubbing. Her single friends would want her to come out with them, they would try to hook up with guys and try to make her join the fun. She would try to keep it innocent but I heard more than a few stories about guys grabbing, trying to kiss her and giving her their numbers. Thats not cool, but she still wanted to hang out with the girls. The german group activity sounds more fun and like less drama. Maybe I need to date a nice German girl.
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