Let's Write

Hey, check this out:

Frank cautiously entered the supposedly haunted house. He tightly gripped onto his flashlight as the floorboards creaked ominously. Suddenly, Frank heard something.

“Get out,” a voice said quietly.

So Frank quickly turned and ran.

Words, words, words. It seems like the idea most people have is “more = better,” which is definitely not the case.

For one, when people try puffing up the word count of their story, it usually means sacrificing the strength of the words by compounding actions with “-ly” words.

Take the first action, for instance.

Frank cautiously entered…

“Entered” is boring, and “cautiously” is just an attempt to fluff it up and make it more interesting. Why not just replace the two words with one stronger one?

Frank crept into the haunted house.

It gets the reader to the point faster instead of having to push through useless extra words.

Most of the time, fluff is used during dialogue.

“Get out,” a voice said quietly

could be

“Get out,” a voice whispered.

There’s no reason to use phrases like “said loudly” or “said quietly” when words like “yelled” or “muttered” exist. It gets to the point and gets rid of the extra.

One last thing though: don’t be afraid of the word “said.” Usually, when there’s a back and forth writers are hesitant in using “said, said, said” over and over again and resort to a back and forth of “said, retorted, replied.”

“Said” is largely an invisible word, and unless you honestly mean someone “snapped” or “muttered” during a regular conversation there’s no reason not to use it.

Take a look at this:

Ralph entered the old woman’s house and thought it smelled very bad. He wanted to leave but the woman’s kindness would have made him feel very guilty for doing so.

What’s wrong this passage? Well, a lot of things. But let’s focus on one big issue many writers have; telling and not showing.

In the previous lines the writer is explicitly stating what’s going on with Ralph and simply making a list. It’s somewhat insulting to the readers’ intelligence to assume they wouldn’t be able to figure out what’s going on unless you told them outright, and it’s not very interesting either. It’s times like these where showing can really make a difference and bring up very useful imagery to keep the scene interesting.

Break it down: It stinks. What does it smell like? Does it really smell terrible or is Ralph just being a baby? He wants to leave. How is he showing this? What is the woman doing that makes her kind?

With all this the writer can make a much more vivid scene:

Ralph entered the old woman’s house. His eyes immediately began to water as a rancid stench struck his nose; a mixture of what seemed to be cat urine and rotted meat. The smell seemed to emanate from all over the living room, and he could practically see the stink waves bounce around. “Oh, don’t you want to stay for some cookies?” the old woman asked as she gestured to a tray sitting on a counter in the kitchen. Ralph had immediately turned around in an attempt to escape the odor, but decided to force a smile and simply nod.

It’s not perfect, but it’s an improvement. Here, the writer paints a picture and describes how overwhelming the smell is, yet how Ralph is trapped in a state of enduring the smell or being rude to the woman. This makes the narrative much more interesting.

Much better!

When it comes to people’s hard work and dedication to their art it comes as no surprise that feelings are going to be hurt.

To be honest, that’s the way it should be. In a perfect world people would write and everyone would love it no matter the subject and shower the writer with praise and everyone would be a famous and established publisher and… it isn’t! And because of that writers do wrong things, and it’s important to note what they (you) are doing wrong. Even when it comes to criticism, however, there’s a right and wrong way to do things.

As a writer you need criticism, and it’s best to accept any sort no matter how it comes. After all, people are taking the time to both read your work and come up with ideas to make it better for free. Of course, there would be some disagreements regarding your beautiful story of a one-eyed woman who finds love, but in any case it’s better to have an outsiders’ take of your work than not.

Criticizing is easy; what do you find wrong with what you’re reading? What grammatical errors and sentence issues can you find? Now, this doesn’t mean a flat out “this sucks” is any help. To say “this is bad and you are bad” only puts the writer on the defensive and leads to arguments and yelling and mean words. If, however, you follow it up with “because your characters are bland, your word usage is weak, specifically [here], and then some,” then that’s some good criticism!

It’s tough putting your work out there. It’s a bitter pill, but extremely necessary to get any better at all.

Had a couple of posts typed up in a .txt but never actually submitted them! Two posts incoming!

Hi.

This is a blog about writing.

Specifically, this is a blog about fixing your writing. Every week I’ll post a flawed short story, poem, or essay (something along those lines) and criticize certain areas depending on the topic I’ve come up with. This can range from simple grammar mistakes to a completely bungled approach at writing a story.

The stories and all that could come from anywhere. I’ll do most of my searching online, where I’m sure many aspiring writers have submitted their work to certain forums for review. I’m not restricting myself just to the internet, though; if you’d like to put your work up for criticism, that would also be great (and make my job a lot easier)! Just send a word file to:

andrew.barrera@mavs.uta.edu

Or you could just hand it to me in class. That’s also pretty simple.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not perfect and my hobby in writing doesn’t make me a master of it, so I’ll be learning right along with all of you. Let me know in the comments if I’ve said something you agree or disagree with, and every week I’ll set aside a post discussing these comments.

I have to find some way to fill this 200 word quota, after all. I might be relying too much on participation that may not exist, but you never know until you try.

I’m not quite sure if I’m supposed to sign these posts or how I’m supposed to end it. Here’s the end.

- andrew