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Pressure builds in my brain

Today I am going to write the article for next week’s newsletter for my daughter’s school. Turn off TV week is September 19-25, 2010. I am thinking about writing an article for that, but I am worried that it will be too “preachy.” My intent with The Literacy Corner is to inform parents with things to help their children in school, especially with literacy, but I don’t want to get into personal parenting choices. Here’s what I came up with, but I also came up with another article, which is an extension of last week’s article. The second article can run next week (if the director decided the turn off the t.v article is too soapboxish) or it can run the following week.

Turn off TV week is September 19-25, 2010 T.V. watching decreases physical activity, decreases brainwave activity, promotes inattentive eating and/or overeating, and causes watchers to be subject to bombardment of advertising. This voluntary “turn of the TV” program is intended to challenge people to lead less passive and more engaging lives. According to turnoffyourtv.com, “The purpose of National TV-Turnoff Week is to leave behind judgements about the quality of television and focus instead on creating, discovering, building, participating and doing.” Parents can make a list of activities planned for each day or plan only a few activities and allow the imaginations and creativity of each person to flourish as they dream up new and exciting things to do with the time they are not spending watching television. Long list of interesting activities available at: http://www.turnoffyourtv.com/turnoffweek/TV.turnoff.week.html Personally, I don’t know if I am a big fan of completely turning off my screens for an entire week. I don’t think it reflects the reality of our lives. Living so far from ‘home,’ I find screens (especially the computer screen) my connection to my culture and family. My variation to this will be: moderation. For the kids I will allow ½ an hour of screen time each day after school. For me: Instead of checking e-mail all day I will only check it once a day and only surf the internet for ½ an hour each day. Each family who chooses to participate can define their own parameters, but simply learning about the effects of media is an important thing to know.

Homework Work Space

Maybe you tried to establish the study habits talked about in last week’s newsletter, but you found that your child really didn’t have the right “spot” to do homework. Here are some helpful tips on creating just the right place for your child to do homework. The place should be quite enough and out of the way enough that you child does not get too distracted by others or media influences (cell phone, t.v. radio, video games, etc). It should be close enough to an adult that they can easily ask questions and close enough that they don’t feel isolated. A good place might be the kitchen table while you are cooking dinner, or the office while you are reading. Stock the homework spot with materials that make doing homework easier such as paper, pens, pencils, markers, crayons, ruler, or anything else that your child might need to do homework. If you are really feeling motivated you can decorate the homework area with maps and charts, spelling word list, math problems, or anything else academic that might be engaging or motivational for you child.

I am so super excited about writing today. Why? Because I read other people’s writings yesterday and today (for the first time) and I got lots of ideas! It’s crazy how much being a part of a community of writers can have a positive effect, and inspiring effect on one’s own writing. Last time I took a writing class and had to do free writing I began by writing lots of poems, mostly using poem starters. Then I moved into stories. This time I have been sporadic (which is very unlike me). Tracy Cousino had some poem starters and list starters that I asked her to use. Here I go:

Things I want to do within 5 years

(Let me first wrap my head around this for a minute: In five years it will be Autumn 2015. My daughter will be 12 years old, starting 7th grade and my son will be 8 starting 2nd grade, Wow! My husband will be retired and we will either be living in our forever house where we will settle down, or he will be two years into doing contracting/consulting work in his current field, which means we would be in DC.)

In 5 years: 1) I want to have a current teaching license (my old one expired last Dec and I didn’t renew it). 2) Be finished with my master’s degree (that should be May 2011). 3) I would like to go back to teaching. I would love it to be part time. Half days, so that I could still be with the kids in the afternoons/evenings and keep up with the housework, but I am sure that is just a fantastical dream that I cannot find. That means I will probably be working full time. I am so scared I won’t have time for my own kids. I wonder if that’s the case. 4) This is terrible! I cannot think of any more life goals!

I used to have life goals, but I am almost done achieving them. My old goals were 1)have kids – done! 2) live abroad at least one year – done x’s 5 and 3) get my master’s degree – done in May!

What does it say about me if I don’t have life goals?

I guess it could be 1) keep raising my kids 2) keep being married 3) eventually go back to teaching. ?

Or it could be 1) live in an eco-friendly house (I would have to define that because that could be quite illusive without parameters) 2) eventually go back to teaching (I keep saying eventually because I don’t know when I want that to be. All I remember is how utterly consuming teaching was before I had kids and how utterly consuming my kids are now and I am just worried that I will not fill completely fulfilled in either if I go back while my kids are still young. Obtaining my master’s degree has been the best because I have been able to be at home with my kids AND keep close to my professional field. The idea was presented to me a few weeks ago that I could just keep going to school, earn a PhD to continue having the best of both worlds, but what does an early elementary school teacher need with a PhD? I know I don’t want to be a principal! I don’t like people complaining to me that much. Wonder if I could teach on-line somewhere, during the day, with just a Master’s degree. Wonder if there is a community college where I can be an on-line professor for a few years until my kids are at the phase where they are so busy with after school activities that they don’t get home until 5 or 6 pm anyway.

I did not intend to explore this topic today. I intended on writing a simple list.

I guess I cannot complete this list. Not yet. My husband is having an even worse kind of crisis. He retires in 3 years and he has no idea what he wants to do. I teased him the other day and asked if he wants me to buy him the book, What Color is Your Parachute. I know that he will eventually decide on a next job (I pray it will be something that I am happy with. . . Running a bar is not something I think I will be happy with.). So I guess I need to also know that eventually I will decide on my next goals.

Write a book could be a goal, but I don’t want to be one of those unemployed writers like you see in movies. I want it to just flow out of me naturally and for me to happen upon a contract with a book company. I know that life goals do not just “happen” like that. The work for this master’s degree did not just flow out of me and a school did not just happen to grant me a degree.

So, for today, by 2015 I plan:

1) Have a teaching license.

2) Have some sort of part time job related to the teaching field, possibly full time.

3) Be working towards living in a eco-friendly house (whatever that is) and a big garden. (I learned this year that I like gardening. I have a few minutes, so I will tell you about my garden this year. I planted: onions, red chili peppers, corn, tomatoes, basil, rosemary, cilantro, dill, parsley, celery seed, strawberries, cucumbers, zuccinni, squash, and mint. Then, there’s the unexpected plants that just popped up: raspberry sprigs, sunflowers, one bell pepper plant, potatoes, and more tomatoes. I am having a BLAST with it. I am canning all sorts of food for the winter like salsa, pizza sauce, stewed tomatoes, jams and jellies. Next week I think I am going to buy a bushel of apples and make applesauce. The kids love it and you cannot find unsweetened applesauce here.

Sounds like a good plan!

It’s been a long while since I wrote a thankful poem. Here goes: Unedited and from the heart.

I am thankful for. . .

Sleep. Restful, relaxing sleep, leaving me refreshed and bright the next morning.

The cold rain that dripped onto my roof last night, softly tapping on the bedroom window.

My soft bed, warm covers pulled up to my neck when I climb in after a long day.

Time to read before going to bed, wiping my mind clean and free from the cares of the day.

My daughter, at times bursting with drama, at times saturated with loving kindness, the pure, real essence of an emerging adolescent girl.

My son who is all boy – loud, bold, talkative, decisive, tiring, demanding, tender hearted and fun.

My husband, strong willed, hardworking, committed. Sometimes exasperated. Almost always quiet. caring and concerned even when my face is a scowl.

Fun date nights with Bruce. Going out together and reconnecting just the two of us.

My parents and family who send me their love a million different ways from the other side of the world. Keeping me connected to who I am and what I want to become.

Loud boisterous Girl Scouts fluttering about, full of ideas and energy.

Stressful, overwhelming schoolwork. Each assignment bringing me one step closer to my ultimate goal.

My body as it moves, twists and turns, allowing me to accomplish more than my imagination can dream. Healthy. Solid. limber.

Friends. Loud and quiet, many and few, bold and timid, sweet and sour, filling and draining.

This tiny community. Supportive. Stifling. Festive. Caring. All you need it to be and more.

My car, zooming me through the chaotic streets of Chisinau.

A chipper attitude, when I can summons it from my inner soul.

Delicious, mouth watering food, nourishing my body and satisfying the hunger within.

Quiet time with The Lord upon awaking each morning, peace seeping into my soul after ten short minutes.

With all of the newsletter articles that I have written with my free writing time, my husband has taken notice. We belong to a running/walking group called HASH (Hash House Harriers). We meet every other week. Our next meeting is Sunday, Sept 12^th and Bruce would like me to write an article in our community newsletter.

In my writing class we read a lot about using “voice” in our piece – one’s own authentic speech. Sometimes voice contains humor, other times it might contain certain type language like colloquial talk or slang, other times its drawing a picture with words instead of describing something. I would like for this article to have voice but I don’t know how to do it. That’s probably one of the parts of writing that I have the most difficulty with.

Here goes:

(This is intentionally written in second person).

Sunday. 2pm. Hash. Meet at the Water tower.

Unsure about hash? Think you might want to come along, but you don’t know what its all about? Hash is a non-competitive running and walking group. Every other Sunday hashers (the runners and walkers and their kids) meet at the Water Tower at 2pm where the hare (the person or people who set the trail) tells a little about the trail and shows what the trail markings look like. Then, everyone drives to the appointed location where the fun begins. Runners and walkers have separate trails, each following flour markings on the ground. Don’t be fooled by the false trails. They might lead the front runner astray, but not for long. Halfway through there is usually a water/beer stop where you can rest briefly and refresh and, of course, there’s always a beverage stop at the end! Then after the circle, where members are recognized and events on the run/walk are reviewed, you and this lively, international group eat a light meal together and socialize. If you like to drink beer, this part is for you.

This week we will be exploring new terrain in the northwest corner of Chisinau. We haven’t run out there before, but it promises to be beautiful – rain or shine.

Want more info? Check out this awesome link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_House_Harriers

See you on Sunday!

On-On (the hash term meaning, this way – follow me).

I must admit that I don’t really like it much. I think that while this is informative, it is lacking fun and personality. I labored over this. I’ll send it to my husband and the leader of the running group and see what they think of it. I will give them both free rein to change, alter or edit.

Maybe one day I can write a better article. I am sure we will need another advertisement next month.

“I like Hash because it’s family time. It’s a way for me to spend time with my girls during the walk and for us to spend time as a family when the hash is over. I like that our family is doing something active, not just sitting on the couch together on a Sunday afternoon. Plus, it’s nice to see friends, too.” ~Maria Peterson

OK – now that testimonial was written much better. That’s because it was written from the heart while the first part was written from the unconfident head. I also interviewed my girlfriend and wrote what she said.

I have decided that my mentor text unit will be for second grade using the author Shirley Hughes. Shirley Hughes has an easy, flowing writing style. She adds descriptions and narrative in a simple manner. Sometimes you don’t even feel the story building up until SURPRISE there’s a problem that must be solved. Her stories usually deal with matters of the heart, especially for children – the lost stone, the misplaced stuffed animal, the child who is mean, being left out of the fun, or being alone. When doing this lesson I would probably do an author study of her, reading to the class all of my favorite Shirley Hughes books such as Dogger, Alfie Gives a Hand, Annie Rose is my Little Sister, Bonting, Here Comes the Bridesmaid, and Abel’s Moon. These are all picture books that exemplify her sweet, touching style. But all of her writing is not that simple. I might even read aloud some of the stories she wrote intended for older audiences, such as Angel Mae, Sea Singing, Enchantment in the Garden, It’s Too Frightening For Me!, The Bird Child or her version of Cinderella. Many of the stories for older students have interesting twists and are mind puzzlers.

But the book that I would use for the students to model this writing piece after (the mentor text) is the book entitled, Lucy and Tom at the Seaside. It’s a descriptive story about a day at the seaside.

To model for the students what I expect for them to write, not only will I read Lucy and Tom at the Seaside but I will also share with the students a story of my own writing, based upon my memories of going to the ocean on family vacations when I was a kid. So, in preparation of that, I am going to rework my fore-mentioned memory into a simple story. It will not be an on-going story, year after year, but a snapshot of one year. I cannot tell you exactly what year because the one-year-snapshot will be a compilation of the memories I build over a number of years.

Here goes:

(Note to self: Remember, second grade language!)

Summer had finally arrived. School is out. D and Sandra pack bags of things to do in the car during the long car ride from Texas to South Carolina. They pack books to read, cards to play games, and dolls to dress and comb. Mom is filling up a cooler with snacks while Dad is packing the car top carrier with suitcases.

The car ride seems to take forever. D keeps asking, “How many more hours until we get there?“ Dad gives D a map so that she can follow along – through the states – Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia. They drive all night. The kids lay down in the backseats and fall asleep. Finally, the next morning, they arrive in South Carolina.

Granny is so happy. She rushes out the front door even before they knock.

“Hug my neck,” she tells them, tears streaming down her face. Papa and Uncle Eddie follow behind Granny. For a moment it is just a big mixture of everyone taking turns hugging.

“We’re sure glad you’re here,” Papa tells them.

“Well, come on inside.” Granny says as she takes hold of Dad’s arm and pulls him in the direction of the house.

(some sort of transitional paragraph)

They walk the beach on Harbor Island. It’s more beautiful than D or Sandra had remembered from last year. They find a comfortable spot on the wet sand to build sandcastles. Mom sets up her lawn chair closer to the dunes, where the sand is dry and hot. As the girls build their castle, the warm water rushes up to them in rhythmic splashes, gently covering their toes, then their feet, then their ankles as the tide comes in.

Set up a afternoon/evening schedule: 

1) Schedule in time for homework.  2) Ask the teacher how much time she/he expects the child to do homework each night (so that you know how much time to slot). 3)  Include a snack. Sometimes kids’ energy levels run low after a fun and exhausting day at school. Give them a healthy snack before or during homework time for a little pick-me-up.

Set up rules: To develop the homework habit, find the rules that work best for your family such as “no t.v. or phone until homework is done.”

Establish a place to do homework.

Organization:  You might find that some children need a little extra assistance with organization. Creating a homework day planner might help. Also, designating a spot for their book bag/lunch box and school folders at home might be handy so that they can keep all of their stuff together.

If you have specific questions about homework habit, the scholastic website has a wealth of information. Try: http://www2.scholastic.com and type in “homework habits”.

The mother book of memories that I am using to spark my writing ideas asked what my most cherished item was when I was a child. This is an important question because in this writing class I was thinking about using a book called Dogger by Shirley Hughes as my mentor text for a writing unit I am going to do with second graders. The premise of the book is that a boy looses a special toy and his sister is self-sacrificing in a way that gets it back to him. I was thinking that if I used that book I could write about a cherished item of mine and when I lost/misplaced it. But, unfortunately, I cannot think of an item.

I am not too worried because Shirley Hughes writes another awesome book called Lucy and Tom at the Seaside and I can turn my summer vacation at the beach memory into a similar story.

A cherished item?

* Maybe the gold beads that my grandmother gave me – they were hollow and unfortunately I would put them in my mouth and “nibble” on them so now they are very dented gold beads on a chain.

* Maybe my Barbies, which I played with much longer than all of my peers. While I was not great at the imagination part – making up stories, I did use barbies to act out normal life situations. Plus, I thought they were fun to dress up and do their hair.

* Maybe the pillow I had when I was a baby. I was never really attached to it, however. In fact, I so un-attached to it that my mother used it as the stuffing for my sister’s baby pillow. My sister was VERY attached to that pillow. I remember one time when my sister and I were having a fight and to get back at her I said, “Fine, you can have your pillow, but I want my pillow.” And I took my pillow out of her pillowcase and went to my room, leaving her will a flat, limp pillowcase. She was so upset. And when I got to my room I remember asking myself, “why does this pillow mean so much to her and so little to me? Why aren’t I attached to something like this?” Of course, about that time my mom came into my room to make peace between us. I conceded that my sister could have the pillow. I don’t know how the rest of it played out, I only remember the part about the pillow, not because of my attachment, but because of my lack of attachment. (Doe Valley)

Maybe because I am an Army brat, I don’t quite feel an attachment to things (or even places) like a lot of people have. Instead, I am the kind of person with a strong attachment to ideas/ideals like faith in God, patriotism in my country, my family’s southern heritage. Having strong family bonds is very important to me.

I guess that does not lend well to the Dogger story.

Although, Dogger is also a story about a sister who does something very kind for her brother. Have I done anything really kind for my sister? Did I when I was a kid? I guess I would have to ask her. I can’t think of anything.

* When she was in middle school, and I already had my driver’s license in high school I would go to her school during her lunch period and take her out to lunch using the money I earned in my job (at the video shop). (Skipcha)

* When my sister was preschool and Kindergarten aged I would play school in her bedroom. I would get worksheets from the neighbor next door and have a classroom for my sister. I would try to teach her to read. I remember one time when she memorized a book because my parents and I read it to her so many time and I thought she was reading it and so I took her to my mom and said, “Mom, Mom, look, She can read!” But my mom said, “No, she just memorized the book.” Sure enough, my mom closed the book and my sister could still recite it. My poor sister, I don’t know if all those classes were as fun for her as they were for me. I enjoyed them a lot. (Montclair)

Maybe I should send my sister an e-mail and ask her what she remembers. That would be interesting to know! But I am kind of scared to know what she remembers. Maybe she remembers something horrible that I did that I have blocked out of my memory.

* When I was in high school my sister would come into my room at night and talk. It was a fun bonding time. Unfortunately, I am a morning person and she is a night owl, so by evening I was wearing down just trying not to fall asleep and she was just revving up, her body clock ready to get going. I would eventually tell her, “I just have to go to sleep. You have to go to your room.” Of course, now, as we are not close friends I kick myself for ever cutting her off – wishing that I could go back in time and bond some more with her. But at the time I was going to an early morning religious class at 6am ever school day before high school, so I had to wake up at 5a and by 11pm I just couldn’t stay up any longer.

Maybe I won’t use Dogger as my mentor story. I will use a different Shirley Hughes story. And by the way, if you have not read Shirley Hughes – check her out. AWESOME children’s writer. She even has some adolescent stories that are superb, too!

Vacations when I was a kid

Vacations, when I was a kid, were almost always spent going to see family. When I was growing up we always lived away from our extended family, therefore we always spent vacations going to see them.

Once we settled to one location, when I was in middle school, we were closer to my mother’s family, so we spent each year going to see my dad’s family. I have fond memories of those yearly trips. They usually lasted two weeks. We would spend one week, usually the first week at a beach house on the Atlantic ocean and then the second week at my grandmother’s house. When we were at the beach, my mom and grandmother would get up most mornings and go for a sunrise walk. Sometimes I would wake up and go with them, and sometimes I would sleep in.

Each day my sister and I would always want to go onto the beach, and someone always went with us. Usually it was my mother, but not always. We would play in the ocean, make sand castles on the beach, hunt for seashells or crabs or go for long walks around the island. We went back to the same island year after year so we got to know it very well.

The island had a pool that we used. I must admit that I like swimming in the pool much better than the ocean. The salt in the ocean stings they eyes and makes you sticky.

Each year we stopped, at least once, at the crab shack on an adjoining island to get our crab cake burger.

During the week at my grandmother’s house we would do completely different stuff. My grandmother always invited the ladies (me, my mother and my sister) out to lunch one day at her favorite restaurant – a hip, modern and trendy place. We always walked along the harbor front at least once, swinging in the wooden hanging swings along the way. Of course, we would always spend one day in Savannah, looking in antique shops amongst the old houses on the squares. Each antique dealer seemed to know my grandmother by name. And, of course, we would always spend on day in Charleston, where we lunched at California Dreamin’. We would walked among the old slave markets or look out at Fort Sumner from the pier.

During those years my uncle was a young, eligible bachelor. We would get to meet the girlfriend that he had that summer – one was a marine biologist and took us crabbing while another worked at a fancy hotel and took my sister to a high class lunch there.

Oh, what fond memories I have. I wonder what my children will remember about their summers and their childhoods. I hope those memories will be fond!

My first official job was working at a video store, but long before I started working at “Another Video Stop” I earned money babysitting. Maybe that’s why I am a teacher today. From the time I was little I watched kids – first my little sister in one or two minute intervals while my mom had to run to the bathroom or cook dinner. Then when I was about 12 or so I would watch neighborhood children, sometimes while their parents were in the house and then later while their parents were gone. I have always enjoyed spending time with children.

Even while I was working at the video store, I was a part time nanny for a family in our neighborhood, going over to their house three mornings a week before school so that the mother could run and then two or three afternoons during the week so that she could run errands. Later I even spent weekends at their house when the husband was deployed (he was in the Army) and she was on duty (she was in the reserves).

I think all of that time with children helped prepare me for motherhood. I already had a good sense of what children could do and what was acceptable and normal. I was less worried and stressed when I became a mother. Still, being a mother has also given me invaluable experience. I mother my second child with much more confidence than I did my first.

One thing I am much better at, as a mother, is trusting myself. Over the years I have learned that there is this innate, gut feeling I get when something about happens. Sometimes people will give me their opinions which conflict with my innate feeling and almost all the times I go by their advice I lament it later. The times when I stick to my guns and trust my own instincts I feel good because I knew it. It was in me.