Assess Titanic

So the phone rings, and it’s my old pal Lars Abraham, Superannuated Professor of Sesquipedaliana at Seattle State. “‘Sup, Pops,” say I. “”I’m not doing so good, Tim,” says Lars. “When was the last time you were doing good, Lars?” I ask. “The Truman Administration?” “Tim, it is no joke. Things are declining rapidly in higher education. Take Assessment. A new mandate has come down from Olympia …” “Sounds Jovian,…

Welcome to the New Whatever

So the phone rings, and I know before I look that it’s Lars Abraham calling from Seattle State University. I’m so glad I got the idea of setting “Kol Nidre” as Lars’s custom ringtone. “How’s it going, Lars,” I answer. “Not so good, Tim.” “Listen, Lars,” I say, “can I call you back? I can call you back in … 2017. How does 2017 sound?” “Hilarious as ever, Tim. No,…

So What Would You Suggest, Genius?

I have been sharply critical of the corporatizing of universities, and I realize that my attitude verges on gloom-and-doom handwringing that might reflect the utterer’s cynicism more than the objective situation. I stress that UTA is not as corporatized as some schools, that lots of good things happen here, and that the problems I cite in my imaginary dialogues are general national trends, not specific grievances. Yet they are real…

You’ve Tried the Rest

So the phone rings, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s Lars Abraham, Past Professor Plenipotentiary at Seattle State University. “How now, Lars?” say I. “Things are not so good, Tim,” says Lars. “Raining in Seattle again?” I ask. “C’mon, Lars, the bluest skies I’ve ever seen are in Seattle.” “What? No, it is not the rain. It is the new Chancellor of our University. He has announced a sweeping new…

Doing the Math

A recent article by Rachel Riederer, “Teaching Class,”, has been making the rounds of social media, posted by many of my alert friends in the teaching profession. Riederer makes a point that is seeping slowly into general awareness: college teaching is a working-class occupation. As Riederer puts it: A professor belongs to the professional class, a professor earns a salary and owns a home, probably with a leafy yard, and…

Literary Obituary: Gabriel García Márquez

The death of Gabriel García Márquez yesterday at the age of 87 closes an era of literary history. There’s a fair chance that when somebody looks at your dates, a few centuries from now, they’ll place you as living in the age of García Márquez. I resisted reading García Márquez for a long time, till I was about 30, even though he was a dominant figure of my lit-major undergraduate…

Where Do I Commence

So my phone rings, and it’s my old mentor Lars Abraham, Professor Semi-Emeritus at Seattle State University. “How’s it shaking, Lars?” say I. “Not so good,” says Lars. “I had a premonition you would say that.” “Tim, morale at Seattle State is at a new low in the 53 years I have taught here.” “And knowing you, that’s pretty low, Lars.” “Tim, we have a new Chancellor. And his first…

Libraries, Reading and Day-Dreaming

Author Neil Gaiman gave a lecture on October 15th as part of The Reading Agency annual lectures about the importance of libraries, reading and day-dreaming. In order to raise literacy in children, they need to know that reading is good. If a parent takes away a book because s/he considers it a ‘bad book’ then the child will believe that reading is frowned upon. In addition to having access to…

Oh, that is where the phrase came from!

The origins of expressions and phrases used every day are not given much thought. Haven’t you ever wondered how the English-speaking world came to use these phrases? Here are the histories of just a few common phrases. “Blood is thicker than water” Although this phrase implies the importance of familial bonds, the original phrase was actually “The blood of the covenant is far stronger than the water of the womb.”…